The day that could have been

I was seriously looking forward to today. The plan was to visit PIUMA's vibrant members in Utengule. Utengule is about a three to three and a half hour walk from Bulongwa. What makes it so unique is that it is the highest point of land before Lake Nyasa in our region. The views are reported to be amazing, with it straddling the border between the smooth green mountains, and the rugged sandy peaks that drop towards the lake.

Secondly, from its location at the Northern point of the lake, the sun rises above the dramatic Eastern peaks. A sight not to be missed.

So the plan was to walk through the night to arrive in time for this occurrance.

Unfortunately things didn't pan out.

We left at 4 a.m., as planned, and walked through by the moonlight for two and a half hours. That was nothing short of bad ass, I won't lie.

But that's also when things began to go wrong. Firstly, it became apparent that the clouds, a rarity in these parts, would obscure any view of the lake and even the sun. Secondly, I began to feel not so great. A combination of fatigue and fighting off the numerous bacteria my body is not used to, I would guess.

At this point I should mention how pathetic one feels when complaining of a low fever to an HIV-positive audience.

I fulfilled my duties, however, and met great people, and hopefully picked up some good information to write about. I was not feeling too hot though, and I didn't think I could make the over three hour return.

Utengule has no car. Bulongwa is the nearest one. We called the driver and got him to come pick us up. The fare came to about 20 000 Tsh (shillings), or roughly $20.

Bulongwa is also the nearest hospital, and a reputedly terrible one at that. So, this experience opened my eyes to why there seems to be an approving pacifism towards sickness here.

I've heard several stories about people who refuse to go to the hospital because "if God willed it, then that's how it is."

This attitude horrified me, but after today it is understandable (though still horrifying). When I was in Utengule, I wanted nothing more than just to find a bed there and lie down forever. Obviously I wasn't dieing, but the walk to Bulongwa seemed insurmountable.

You'll probably say, "well, at least there's a car you can call for a relatively low price." The problem is, for most, 20 000 Tsh is not easy money. Treatments at the hospital run at a few dollars per day - even that is enough incentive to keep people home.

This is, in fact, PIUMA's most important mandate. Through its collection of HIV patients, it teaches people of their right to quality health care access. It also breaks the lethargy associated with treatment through collective pressure, and sometimes even going to peoples' homes and carrying them to the hospital.

We think of health care as a fundamental right. In practice, it is only the right of the rich enough. And this is true of anywhere in the world, but deeply exaggerated here.

**Note: I did not go to the hospital. I wasn't that sick, and that place scares the crap out of me. After lot's of sleep, I'm feeling much better.